November 28, 2009

Alcohol had been an issue in my family for as long as I can remember. A big mistake was made when my father had told me that “ I prefer that you drink rather  than smoke (weed)” . He didn’t know any better, he had an old school mentality against weed. So I did like he said and went for the bottle. 

It ended up being a major issue after I graduated from high school, tons of partying and it eventually got me into trouble with the law. I ended up catching a DUI and then 6 months later 2 more. And a plethora of other charges against me. I was looking at 2 years in prison and I had a young baby boy. I was given the opportunity to take a deferred prosecution. Which if I stayed out of trouble for 5 years the majority of my charges would be dropped. I took the deal, things were great for a while but one night after thanksgiving in 2009 I really tied one on. All I remember is a flash. I woke up the next morning with my head pounding. I went outside because I had to get something from my suv, when I noticed an imprint in the windshield of the shape of my head. I went out to inspect the truck and I noticed lots of front end damage and pieces of taillights.

I knew at that moment I did a hit and run and didn’t know anything about it.

I called my dad and told him what happened, after some time of talking he said something to me that changed my life forever, he told me “ if you kill yourself I can’t raise that boy on my own!” At that moment I realized how selfish and stupid I had been. Thinking I’m out having a good time and I almost made my son grow up without a father. My dad has had my back my whole life and I couldn’t imagine not being able to do the same for my son. 

Nov 28 of this month I’ll have 15 years clean. It’s crazy to think. But I know my wife, my son , my parents and my friends don’t deserve the type of POS that can show up. I’m lucky because every day that I have stayed sober I know I get to appreciate what this life has to offer.

I tell myself that this makes me stronger than most. I get to feel life as it is. I get to experience the happy moments at their best and I get to feel the pain and heartbreak with nothing to dull the pain. And that is something I take pride in.

Riding takes that stress away and I don’t have to chase that relief into a bottle . I get to find it behind the throttle!

@the_wandering_fool_