July 10, 2018

That’s the day my life changed, and I checked myself into rehab. I’d always been a drinker; it was part of who I was, part of my upbringing, or at least I thought it was part of who I was. It wasn’t really until my dad fell ill with pancreatic cancer in late 2015 that I started hitting it really hard to hide the pain. When I say hard, just know it was bad. Nine months after I found out my dad had cancer, it ultimately took his life 6-1-16, and that completely flipped my life upside down.

Two years after he passed, I was so deep into my drinking that I literally had zero concern about anything at all; I just maintained to get through the days. I was just hiding my pain by drinking from morning to night on a daily basis. The amount I drank a day is astonishing to some (easily 1/5 of a Tito’s, a pint of more of Jäegermeister, and about 8–10 beers), and for some good reason, it never caused me any medical issues. For almost 2 years, I was waking up each morning just to have a drink and throw it back up in order to maintain and get rid of the horrible shakes. It was a tough decision to go to rehab, but I knew I had to do something different or I was going to die sooner than later. I ended up taking a hard look in the mirror one day, which made me have an intense internal battle to make the decision to go to rehab. I sold my dream truck, a very prized possession to me at the time, and that’s when the journey began.

You can say I had a spiritual awakening, if you want to call it that, but the first day there, I was in the pool at the facility waiting to see the doctor and decided to ask my dad for a sign that he was with me. Show me something that shows you’re supporting me. Well, I go upstairs a short while later and meet the doctor at the rehab facility, and he looked identical to my dad's father—same name, same hairstyle, and same color. THE SAME. EXACTLY THE SAME. Shortly after that visit, I went to the TV room, and the last two movies I watched with my dad just happened to be playing on the TV that same day as well. Coincidence? I’m not sure, but between all that and years of drinking, I think my body and soul convinced me to start fresh and kick this habit; it had had enough.

Since then, life has given me many opportunities to grow as a person inside and out, which has changed me into who I am today. Nobody had forced me to make these changes; nobody has or has given me ultimatums, but it was all coming soon; I knew that much.

For me, one more drink means the end of what I have today; it means one turns into 10–15 more drinks, and before I know it, I’m back to where I was, and as miserable as I was, that’s not an option. I remember the sacrifices I made to get me where I’m at today, and I wouldn’t change that for just one drink.

My father and I rode dirt bikes together basically my whole life, and after his divorce from my mom, he got himself the Harley he always talked about. Once he passed away, I sold his bike and never thought I’d end up owning one myself, but in 2023, I decided to get my Road Glide for my 5 year sobriety birthday. I feel that now that I’m riding, a part of him is always with me. The wind therapy one gets from riding is not something most get to experience or enjoy, but I’m glad to be riding my Harley in honor of my father as well as carrying on with my own journey.

- Mike

@TX_Dude_76